I was thinking about relationships the other day, what makes some work and others not. I saw Carl Reiner on a talk show and he and his wife Estelle (now deceased) were married for 64 years. He said that once she was asked what's the secret for a successful relationship and she answered, "You have to be able to stand the other person". Estelle was famous for one role in the movies, in her son's production of Harry Meets Sally, she had the line: "I'll have what she's having". Anyway, at first I thought she was setting the standard a little too low. Like he has to be able to use a fork (not even a knife). But when you think about it, it might just come down to that. You have to be able to stand the person to have the relationship go on and on.

My mother Bucky use to say "like finds like", but I lean more to "opposites attract". I met Mr. Haley 23 years ago. Maria, Jer and baby Rachael drove to Beacon to show Aunt Lillian and my mother the new baby. My brother came up from the cellar with this strange looking guy wearing overalls and my brother started apologizing right away. "I'm sorry about this, but he wanted to meet you" and that's how Harry Met Sally.

23 years is a long time (we've been engaged for 22 of them) and I think it's because he interests me in a strange way. Like his bathroom habit of playing boggle whenever he feels the need to go. He's done that for years and no one ever questions the boggle game next to the toilet. One year he measured the sun everyday, covering the floor with little yellow stickons and typing measurements methodically into the computer. He even measured the sun on our trip to Florida, which was quite exciting because the numbers are all different down there. One day in the summer he was measuring on the Bird's Nest deck to take advantage of as much sun as possible. A lady came to see the B&B, and as we passed him on the deck, with all the yellow stickons, I just explained "He's doing a scientific experiment". I don't think she ever came back.

We're alike in some ways, both like puzzles, crossword or suduku, and both like to sing. Sometimes we sing together, he is much better than I am, but singing together is always fun. Ironically, I sang a song with his Uncle John 52 years ago. He was my sister's best man at their wedding. We sang Down By the Old Mill Stream. It was fun because it goes: down by the old (and I would say 'old not the new but the old')and he would say where I first (and I would say 'first not the second but the first") met you (not me but you), dressed in gingham (not silk but giingham). Well I guess you get the idea. What we sometimes do is get the other person stuck on a song. It's really easy to do. First get a good tune. Yesterday I heard in Shop Rite, "Keep on Believin' by Journey, "she took the midnight train going anywhere'. Then you just sing it a few times and before you know it, you hear the other person humming or whistling or even saying the words to the song. Timmy is more the "Whip It" type, and me the "Zip A Dee Dooda" but it works with almost any tune.

So, I think Estelle was right. If you can just stand them, it can work out.