Today is Bard's graduation. We've been doing the Bird's Nest B&B for 15 years and we started with a Bard graduation. I remember it very well since it was the first and also we had guests from Viet Nam that did NOT want breakfast, they brought their own food. I remember Timmy and I cleaning the kitchen, smelling all the wonderful smells and wishing they had shared with us. Another Bard graduation guests I remember our parents and a grandmother. It was hot, very, very hot that day and when they returned the father's face was a beet red. A few minutes later the grandmother came down and asked for bug spray.."There were big black ants coming out in the heat". It took me a few minutes to find the spray, and when I went upstairs with it, the father was flat on the couch, air conditioner pointed at him. The grandmother grabbed the can of spray and started spraying everywhere. I didn't even see an ant, but she went into the bedrooms, bathroom and was going into the kitchen when I left. I thought the spray scent would kill the father, already weakened. Another graduation group were parents and grandparents, each arriving separately. The grandparents came first, driving a Cadillac with Florida plates. He didn't even get out of the car before he started complaining.."Terrible directions, just terrible" he scolded me. She handed me a suitcase to carry, although I wasn't much younger than her. We went up the stairs and entered the B&B. At this point, most people say, "Oh this is lovely", remark on all the room and the brightness and cheeriness. She just waved her arm over the freshly picked flowers on the table and said "Nice touch." They were the only people we ever had that didn't eat breakfast together. The grandparents ate at 8:30 and the parents at 9:00. It was surprising but certainly understandable.

My own Bard graduation sticks in my head because of Timmy and fireworks. We were all robed, marching to the graduation tent, when I passed Timmy, Maria and Jer and Timmy pointed to the front of his overalls and slightly exposed the contents - fireworks that I recognized as the "20 gun salute", a firework that shots rhymatically 20 times in a row. My heart sunk. There was exceptional security coverage because one of the speakers was a controversial figure from South America. We sat under the tent, everyone joyous, passing a bottle of champagne down the row, taking a swig and passing it on. I joined in, figuring I was going to see Timmy hauled off to jail, or worse. But Jer saved the day. I was told that when they called my name to go on stage, Timmy started to pull out the fireworks and Jer pointed at a policeman watching him....so, common sense ruled for once.

Another graduation I remember was a high school party graduation being held secretly in the woods behind our house. Sabra and her friends discovered it first, a large tent filled with teenagers and kegs of beer. We were all sitting outside, when Timmy stated he was going to get a beer from the party tent. He was already drinking from a plastic red party cup that he held in a crocheted purse we had found on the road...he called it his "beer cozy". I said I'm going to bed, not wanting to have anything to do with this and later was told what happened. Sabra and her friends peeked through the woods, carefully and quietly following Tim. They said he went right to the center of the lit tent, to the keg, held up his beer cozy and said, "I am Bacchus, fill my cup". Everyone looked and the burly guys in charge of the keg, took the tap, and filled his cup. I was in bed reading when I heard him rummaging through the closet. What are you looking for? I asked and he answered "fireworks". Apparently he thought because they gave him a beer, they deserved fireworks. Now the whole idea of having a party in the woods is so no one knows where you are. Not a good idea to set off fireworks...Again, Sabra reported what happened next. Timmy went into the woods, pasing a couple searching through the grass for her contact lens. The fireworks went off, and all hell broke loose as the burly guys came running through the woods, looking for the culprit. They were sidetracked by the couple in the grass, and Timmy made it out safely. He ran up the stairs yelling, "Shut off the lights, Turn off the lights" and Sabra and her friends all came in and hid. Kristin was the only victim, had run into the picnic table, trying to get in the house and hurt her toe.

So that's graduation. You experience many of them, but only a few stick in your mind. Like weddings....maybe next I will tell you what weddings I remember best and why.

Well this week I sent in my membership dues to the Red Hook Pool. This pool has been a part of our life since my kids were little and became even more important in the last years of Ria's life as we all were members, sharing many afternoons and many laughs. It was hard, very hard, that first summer after Ria died. Everytime I looked up I expected to see her coming through the door, big bag full of books, drinks and snacks for everyone in it, straw hat perched on her head and a great big smile. But she never came and it got harder, not easier that year. Last year was better and I hope this year will be better too.

The pool is a short drive from Tivoli, not even ten minutes. You go up the steps and enter the pool house where you're greeted with a bunch of teenagers, the life guards who take turns manning the entry. Music greets you, the kind of music that gets your shoulders moving and your feet tapping. Through the door and there is the pool surrounded by half a dozen shelters for shade and an assortment of white chairs and lounges.

Three years ago, Ria would be waiting under one of the pavillions, saving us a spot in the shade. Several chairs would be arranged for us and she would give us a big smile and wave us on. Regina would be already swimming in the pool. Regina had swim lessons at noon and Ria just stayed since the pool opened at one, getting one of the ideal seating spots. That year was a good one for many reasons - the kids were all at a cute age, the food concession was excellent, and the weather was great.

That is one thing about the pool....the weather has a big influence. One clap of thunder, even though it's just heat thunder miles away, and the lifeguards' whistles blow and every one has to come out of the pool for 20 minutes..."that's the state law" as we are told. That year, 2007 the whistles blew for a different reason one afternoon. We all looked around, no thunder, no clouds, what was is? "Feces, human feces in the pool" one lifeguard yelled and we all looked at each other in amazement.

Mothers pulled their children close, as if the pool contained a poison or a bomb about to go off. We watched as the lifeguards amassed and assessed the situation. The director passed us muttering "It's those gd disposable diapers" but Regina and Atticus were quick to point out that the object was in the adult area of the pool, not the childrens' side. Most members sat, waiting to see what would happen next, a few really disgusted adults left. A big net was brought out, and a pail to put the specimen in. As I said, most people stayed far away, but Atticus and Regina had to get a close look. Ria and I laughed as we saw them head right to the scene of the crime. "Look at that Ma", Ria giggled, "they'll give us the real scope on the poop". And they did, describing the object in detail and telling us that the lifeguards told them that they had to put bleach in the water, wait fifteen minutes and then you could swim again. We watched as five big gallons of bleached were poured into the pool. Maria looked at me. "Do you want to hang around?" she asked. "Why not?" We agreed, no big deal....like the caretaker said in Caddyshack. No big deal and he put the candy bar (mistaken for something else) in his mouth, and chewed it.

That's one memory of that year. Another one is Ria was reading the latest Harry Potter, a big fat book she was going through like a marathon reading. She was up to the part where Dobie, Harry's house elf friend is killed, and Harry digs his grave, without magic, and tenderly and lovingly buries him. Ria told us how when she read this she burst right out loud crying. That conversation has stuck with me for many reasons, and helps to make the pool a special place in my memories.

Another Mother's Day rolling in. Paul asked me on the phone "What can I get you for Mother's Day?" and my usual answer was birdseed or Fundador. Everybody knows what birdseed is, but Fundador is something special. Laura introduced me to it...a Spanish brandy. She would say FUN da dor....and it is fun. Fun to drink, fun to say. I have gotten into the habit of having a swig (or more) of Fundador before I go to bed. So, if I am going away for the week or even a night, I have to be sure to pack my FUN da dor.

A couple of years ago I spend a few days at the Lake with Paul, Helene and the kids in their cabin. The cabin is typical, loft upstairs with beds, no ceilings in the bedrooms, so everything is open and easily heard. I was pouring my nightly drink and asked Helene if she would care for some and she agreed. The only glass she had was a small character glass, but Fundador can go into anything. Anyway, Paul was upstairs reading to Shane and Zach, I had settled into my bed and Ian was getting a snack in the kitchen, when he spotted the glass, and thinking it was for him, took a big swig. All hell broke out....he clutched his chest, sputtered, fell on the floor, kicking his feet, muttering incoherently. Of course everyone could hear him, and Paul yelled down, "What's going on down there?" Helene answered "Ian drank my Fundador by mistake." Paul, puzzled screamed down, "What the %^&^% is Fundador? I ran out of my bedroom and by this time Ian had recovered and to tell you the truth we all had a good laugh at it.

Last year I drove Atticus and Regina to the Cape a day before we could get in our cabin. The ride was terrible, we got settled in the motel, and I thought, in a few hours, I can go to sleep. Then I realized...I had forgotten my FUNdador. I fell on the bed, saying words a grandmother shouldn't even think, when Atticus calmly stated, "Linny, I will text Rachael and she can bring it out tomorrow when she comes." And she did....the one time I realized both the importance of texting and careful packing.

I remember one time Laura and her boyfriend Art who were both working together as painters had too much FUNdador the night before. They suffered through work, then their car wouldn't start and they had to walk home. Laura said it felt like a tomahawk was sticking straight in her skull. I guess you can have too much FUNdador.

Bucky liked Seagram's. She would drink it out of a Mason jar. When she was very sick, and her doctor wasn't helping her out, she told him, "Time for me to see Dr. Seagram." The doctor had no sense of humor (or alcohol) and shook his head and said, "I don't recall hearing about a Dr. Seagram." I think I will use Bucky's line with my doctor....Well, time for me to see Dr. Fundador.

I'm getting to be more and more like Bucky. Talk about imprint, Bucky stamped us, tattooed us, marked us for life with her wonderful sense of humor and being. Thank you Bucky and Happy Mother's Day in heaven.