Hard to believe this year is ending in a few hours. It wasn't a bad year - all things considered, the economy (I guess that says it all) the economy with all its concerns and uncertainty. But here are what I myself consider the best things of 2009.

(1) The Wacky Raft Race. When I first told my family this was my favorite thing of the year, they looked at me like I was crazy. But it was wonderful. Being on that little raft, in the middle of the river, just trying to make it to Catskill made for an exciting, amusing, exhausting, exhilerating experience. And we made it - did not even consider quitting. My family at their best. And being on that raft, with just my family, for all those hours, was more time than we have spent together, alone, in a long time. Sabra is already planning our next wacky race.

(2) Maribeth giving me the woodpecker painting. So unexpected, so kind, so touching. God Bless you Maribeth and family. Everytime I look at it, it makes me happy.

(3) Meeting Caleb Potter at the Oysterfest. After all those months, in which he played the invisible but prominent role in our family, in our thoughts, in our prayers, the boy that survived. In some way his recovery, his continued recovery gives hope. And he looked so good, and kissed me, I can still feel the stubble of his beard. God Bless you too Caleb. I continue to read his mother's blog and keep him in my thoughts and his Christmas card to me is placed with honor near Maria's picture.

(4) The week in Wellfleet with my family. The Monkey Party, the snail race, laughing in bed with my sister Maureen, the surprise visit of John O'Leary and family, the mermaid sand lady, all the experience - even being in the same cottage that I had shared with Ria for her last trip to the Cape - like the commercial says "priceless".

(5) Sharing with Margaret her last year with us. Zach's pirate show in Catskill, eating the boxed supper after the show down at the Park, drinking a beer with her on my birthday, walking with her at the Street Painting, and finally speaking and sharing at her memorial. Rest in Peace Margaret.

I probably will think of another hundred or so things that I should have included, but right now I am happy with the above. Happy New Year - bring on 2010. God Bless.

This morning, before eight, I went to watch Sabra's boys open their presents and on the way home I heard the loud rat-tat-tat of a woodpecker, a big woodpecker sound. Could it be the piliated woodpecker? Yes, he flew right over my head and then from the back yard the loud squawk of another woodpecker, and another piliated woodpecker flew over. My heart pounded as I got this rush, this feeling that Maria was saying Merry Christmas Ma. A wonderful gift on this gray but beautiful Christmas morning.

Today, Christmas Eve, I received a card from Cape Cod, from Caleb. This is what he wrote:

Ho Ho Ho !!!! Merry Christmas to you and your entire family...& I hope you get every gift you wish for.....soooo have a great holiday !! & thank you!!! (Drawn heart) Caleb! (15 little drawn hearts).

And I just want to say Ho Ho Ho Merry Christmas to all. God Bless us all and give us peace and good health in the next year. (Drawn heart)

Today I was remembering a Christmas six years ago, a hard Christmas for Maria because she had to make life defining decisions for her Godmother and Aunt, Aunt Lillian. Lillian was in the hospital in Poughkeepsie and the staff was adamant that this time she was not going home. She had to go to a Nursing Facility. Although there is usually a long waiting line, and lots of foot work and paper work, Maria managed to get her in Northern Dutchess, close to Maria's home. Lillian was admitted a week before Christmas. Maria followed the ambulance that brought her to Rhinebeck. As they were getting Lillian out of the vehicle, one of the men said to Maria, "Boy, that Aunt of yours is a real pisser" and told her that before they took off, Aunt Lillian said to the two men, "Boys, can you do something for me? Make a stop for me?" The men thinking that she wanted some magazines to read or personal items, said sure, and Aunt Lillian said, "Take me to the Poughkeepsie Bridge. I want to jump off."

Aunt Lillian seemed to adjust well the first day. The dietician came up to ask her what she liked to eat. "Oh, said Aunt Lillian, "I'm a vegetarian. But I would love a lamb chop." Because they rushed her into the Nursing Home, she had to share a room. She didn't like this and neither did the woman with her, who called her a "Princess" and would talk aloud to herself about the "spoiled princess". I let her get settled and went to see her after two days. Maria was in her room with her. Her roommate was wheeled out to see the Christmas Pageant, loudly discussing how the "princess doesn't want to go to the show like everybody else. Trying to make small talk, I told Maria that I had heard the coyotes the night before. Aunt Lillian looked up from the bed. Coyote? Uncle Phil had a coyote during the war. He carried it around with him." Maria and I exchanged looks and then Aunt Lillian asked for a cup of tea. Maria offered to go and get it and said she wanted to see the Christmas pageant anyway. Lillian and I had a nice talk, about family and old times and Maria came back with the tea. Later, going home Maria said the Pageant was beautiful, sad but beautiful, with the players being the patients. The three wise men came in on wheel chairs and Ria had tears in her eyes when she said one old man had a big bandage on his head, but a great big smile.

Maria was called in daily to calm Aunt Lillian down, who was not happy to be there and even managed for her to get a private room. The day before Christmas a nurse told Maria to stay home tomorrow, spend Christmas with your family. Besides, Aunt Lillian might adapt better if not given the chance to lean on Maria all the time. So she did. She called and the staff said she had visitors from Beacon and was talkative and responsive to her guests. But Sunday after Christmas they again called Maria, that things were not going well. Aunt Lillian was going downhill fast. Maria called the priest to come for the last rites, but found Lillian naked, not even a blanket on in her bed. The nurse explained that sometimes near death the human "thermostat" goes crazy and Aunt Lillian could not cool down. "Help me, help me die,"she begged Ria. "I called the priest, he will help you." But the priest seeing she had no clothes on would not go into the room. Get her dressed, he directed and Maria went back into the room. Again Aunt Lillian asked for her help, help me die. The nurse looked at Maria and Maria said sternly, We will help you Aunt Lillian, We will help you die. But first you have to get dressed. " Maria said the nurse laughed right out loud at Maria's words. But Aunt Lillian did get covered up and the priest said his prayers which calmed Lillian right down.

The next morning while Maria and I talked on the phone, Aunt Lillian died. I went with Maria to the funeral home. Lillian had made all the arrangements before, just the obituary had to be written. Where was she born? He asked Maria. "Harlem", she was always proud of that fact. He shook his head, we better just say New York City...people might misunderstand. He asked a few more questions, and then Ria said to him...about her birthplace - I want you to put in Harlem. That's what she wanted, that's what she is going to get" Maria did a great job taking care of Aunt Lillian, right to the end....and more.

We are having the second snowstorm of the week. I woke up thinking of snowmen. Last year I read The History of the Snowman by Bob Eckstein and was fascinated by the historic facts presented of the snowman. The author really did a good job, searching art museums throughout the world, looking for the first sign of a snowman. Because of the nature of snowmen (they melt) there was little seen of them in art, but then in the 15th century they started to appear in winter scenes.

Their history is a shady one, snowball throwing started the American Revolution with the Boston Massacre...some boys threw snowballs at the British soldiers. Also, a fort in upstate New York was attacked by Indians when the men, during a snowstorm, left the fort guarded by just two snowmen. Early snowmen were both snow men and ladies, and some of them were quite risque. The snowman really became popular in the 19th and 20th century in advertisements. They advertised everything from cars, to candy, to alcohol and not one snowman ever made a penny for representing a product. (Unlike Tiger Woods who up until recently made millions of dollars by endorsing products!) Bob Eckstein called the years from 1975-2000 the "white trash years" of the snowmen, with Hollywood making movies, not only cartoons, but bloody killer Snowman movies and snowmen being exploited all over the place.

The Guiness Book of records lists the people of Bethel Maine as building the largest snowman. They keep breaking their own record, no one challenges them. The latest was a snow lady, 122 feet and 1 inch high. I think they are working on another one right now. Anyway, when I read the book I thought what a wonderful project for Tivoli, not the biggest, but maybe the most snowmen in a Village. Everyone could go to the park, or maybe just make a snowman in their yard, or maybe a whole crowd of snowmen.

Then this morning I had another thought...snowmen in the cemetery. We just finished decorating Maria's grave with a grave blanket, so the cemetery was on my mind. Any what better place to make snowmen? Lots of space, no one would bother them. They would get people to gather in a place that used to be used by families to picnic and spend time with their departed families. And, I bet Guiness doesn't have any record of the largest number of snowmen made in a cemetery. January 18th is World Day of the Snow Man (a fact I stumbled on in the internet) so I think a snowman -at least one - will show up in the cemetery on that day.